What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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