i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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