No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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