I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Randomize
