Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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