By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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