It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
