Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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