Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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