i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
