This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Boobs are out for the taking
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
