i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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