He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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