Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
