butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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