Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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