So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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