would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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