Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
