Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize