She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I deserve this hangover.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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