Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
