He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
