omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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