Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
