I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
420 ftw
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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