im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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