Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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