Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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