I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
