Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
