Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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