I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize