god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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