You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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