Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize