she woke up with a sticky ear
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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