I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
