I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
