Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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