Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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