My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize