tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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