i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
