ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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