Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
