I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
i need some magic done to my vagina
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
