he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
