drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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