so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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