Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
