I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
