I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
