HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
