its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
This is the prime rib incident all over again
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
