so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
