I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
