My hair reeks of homosexuality.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
