can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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