I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
