Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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