the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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